True story. Glamourpuss is my secret alter-ego. Some people have superheroes, some people have spirit animals, I have a beautiful Elizabeth Taylor look-a-like. She is everything I am not, and although I would never behave like the star in real life, I confess to often thinking ‘what would Liz do?’ and smiling inwardly at the quick acerbic sass she would have delivered on those occasions when the real me felt just too shy to open her mouth. Glamourpuss has been there with me through thick and thin, but I found that she became rather quiet and withdrawn as the weeks and months of lockdown carried on. It was time to reach out…
Glamourpuss wouldn’t set foot outside the front door unless she looked her best, and as I looked around me, it dawned on me why she felt so glum. Everywhere, people in sweatpants, oversized hoodies, and shapeless dresses – this wasn’t her world! Where had her people gone? The girls in wonderful vintage inspired dresses? The elegant beauties commuting to offices across town or even just collecting smiles as they sip a latte? I needed to stage an intervention, there was nothing for it but to coax the old girl out of retirement and tempt her with a selection of the most wonderful, bright and cheering vintage dresses.
She raised an eyebrow, perfectly arched, of course, and set her whisky glass down on a smoked glass coffee table. “Well…”, she drawled slowly and reached out to touch the sumptuous Marocain crepe. I noticed her manicure was a perfect match for the ruby roses adorning the Carmen Black Rose 1950s Full Circle Dress and I took this to be a good sign. But that bold print was overwhelming in its sheer audacious beauty. She fell back onto a chaise longue in the kind of Hollywood faint that causes no injury and messes no hair.
Okay, how about something gentle and demure? She raised the other eyebrow this time and I believe I saw her beauty spot twitch with a suppressed smile as I set this beautiful fresh pink floral circle dress before her. And who doesn’t adore the eternally popular Dee Dee 1950s style dress? “Oh my, darling, so adorable… but what if all my other Dee Dee dresses feel jealous?” She had a point, I believe Glamourpuss always chooses this popular retro style dress when she visits the graves of her last five husbands, meets with her lawyer or goes diamond shopping with the latest beau (I’ve signed a NDA, but if I said Mason Jomoa you’d be close).
Okay Miss Glamourpuss, how about this one? “Ah, splendid!” she laughed as she pressed one of the adorable mother of pearl buttons with the same tenderness other women reserve for the noses of cute puppies. And why not? The classic Way Out West is a vintage-inspired shirt dress that appears an everchanging palette each season, making it reliably great but never ever boring. So, have we decided? It would appear she’ll have them all, she beckons me to bring her the dresses, selects a chocolate from a satin covered box and say’s “I’ll need petticoats, earrings, and sunglasses….” before dismissing me with a wave of her hand.